The Narrow Roads

I have been going through my head all morning of what kind of blog post I wanted to write for the new year. Then, I had the question in my head, do I even need to write one for the new year? My brother’s wife asked me the other day if I am one who reflects on the past year. I told her not really, but I do somewhat. Yesterday after reading my bible, I was writing in my prayer journal, and I had so much gratitude for all that the Lord has done for me this past year. Not gratitude because the year was a good one, but gratitude because God got me through some really trying times. So, my post today is about what I learned this past year. I know, you are thinking, how boring is that since everyone does that. Please bear with me as I walk through this year in reflection and I pray it blesses you in some way.

My word for this past year was “focus”. I can say that I really need to work on that, because I tend to focus less on Jesus than I do myself. Oof! Not something I like to admit out loud. As things moved into a more challenging stage with my husband and dementia, I tended to get too much into myself and not enough into God. I would start thinking that God will surely deliver me out of all of this and make it easier, but that’s not how God works and for me to think so is pure selfishness. God doesn’t promise an easy road; He promises to walk the road with us. I have to say, God did just that, He walked through this year with me. He helped me see things with my husband through His eyes, so I can care for him according to God’s will and purpose.

I learned a huge lesson on forgiveness this year. Forgiveness is a hard thing for everyone when it comes to the really hard things to forgive. God revealed things to me over the summer that nearly broke me. It was so overwhelming that I didn’t know what to do with it or how to overcome it. In God’s goodness, love and patience with me, I was able to forgive. It’s something I have to decide to do every day, because some days the feelings come back and I don’t want to walk in forgiveness. That’s when I say, “God, I choose to forgive, and I give you the feelings I am struggling with.” It wasn’t something that happened overnight, because I really never wanted to forgive. Our church had a Sunday school lesson on forgiveness, and I admit I had a hard heart during the lesson, but when I was to teach in Sunday school, God worked in my heart while I was studying the lesson I was to teach on. I had a hard heart, and only God was able to soften it, because I didn’t want it to be softened. The forgiveness I experienced this past year was even extended to me. I am not perfect and to be forgiven, is a blessing. Someone forgave me, so how can I not forgive others?

This past year, I learned how fierce my family, church family, and friends love me is. Their love for me is above and beyond what I deserve. They kept showing up for me this past year. God healed brokenness in some relationships, restored relationships, and developed new relationships. He helped me see who my true people are, and I have seen that I am pretty blessed. As I have faced challenges with my husband, I heard my in-laws tell me that I am their family as much as my husband. Not many people can say their in-laws feel that way. God gave me people who hold me accountable and encourage my walk with Him. Those are the best kinds of people to have in your life.

My children, the apples of my eye, my heart, and the reason I keep going. I watched them each walk through their own challenges. Wondering how in the world I can parent them through some really hard times. I didn’t know what to tell them on some days or how to guide them. I prayed for them, I sat with them, I cried for them, and I tried to stay strong. At one point this year when things were so overwhelming, I prayed, “God, please remove a suck from our lives.” Is that a prayer? I am serious, that is what I prayed, because it was just too much. Nothing is more painful than watching your kids hurt. All of us parents go through that, and I know my own parents thought that on the days I cried to them. I know they felt helpless like me and wanted to fix things for me, like I did for my kids. Again, God doesn’t promise and easy road, but He does promise we won’t walk it alone.

One of the last lessons I learned in 2025, is what it really means to “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” That lesson right there summed up my whole year. In times when I got into myself, God would remind me of this great command. By the end of the year, I was telling myself this often. In those times I wanted not to forgive, I remembered how I was forgiven. In those times I wanted to hate, I was remembered when I was loved for no reason. In those times when I wanted revenge, I remembered God’s mercy for me. The conviction of the Holy Spirit isn’t fun, but it is a beautiful thing.

So, why the title, “New Year, New You?” We have this thinking that a new year will erase all the bad of last year. We tend to think that we will reinvent ourselves, renew ourselves, and be someone new. The reality is that, nothing changes from December 31 to January 1. We still have the same hurts, same challenges, same losses, and same problems. I don’t want a new me for the new year, I don’t want a better version of me. I want less of me and more of God in me. I want less focus on myself and more focus on Him. I want me out of the picture completely. I want to deny myself and take up my cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23). When I am into myself, I am out of sync with God.

As I finish this blog post, I reflect on the goodness of God in spite of the hardships of this world. God answered a lot of prayers and a lot He did not. I watched a lot of people walk through tremendous pain and loss this past year, that broke them. I watched my husband decline and grieved my own losses of the year. I watched my community get hit with tragedy after tragedy. We have days we want to cave and not move on. We have days that we jump for joy and it’s easy to praise our mighty God. As we start this new year, I know that there will be good days and bad days, but no matter what kind of day it is, it is always a good day to praise God.

So, here is my encouragement for the year. Look to God, set your eyes on Him. Yes, we hear that all of the time, but it’s true. We need to set our eyes on Jesus and take our eyes off the things of this world and ourselves. Let God heal the hurts of 2025 and allow His love to overcome the pain and losses. Walk through the pain with Him, walk through the grief with Him, walk through the unforgiveness with Him, walk through whatever it is that carried over to 2026 with Him. Take your time walking through those things that hurt, because it takes time to heal. Don’t make yourself busy to avoid the pain but instead make yourself vulnerable before God so He can heal the pain.

Thank you once again for reading my blog, I pray you have a blessed year and that your relationship with Jesus grows deeper. I pray you find joy in Jesus through the pain and trials you are walking in.

Galatians 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave me himself for me.