The Narrow Roads

Every year I ask God to give me a word for that year, and without fail He gives me one. It’s not always a word I am happy about or understand at the time, but He reveals to me each year why He gave me that word. The year 2021 was no different, and this word had many directions it could go. The word God gave me was, “TIME”. Instantly I thought it meant I needed to spend more time with God, more time praying, more time reading the word, more time with my family, and less time on things revolved around me. Though that was some of the reason, it wasn’t the main reason.

There are so many roads that the word time can take you down. As I learned quickly, it was going to be a year God really wanted me to pay attention. Once I realized the year 2021 was going to be quite a learning year, I knew I had to spend more time with God. I knew the only way I was really going to grasp this was to spend time with God in His word and praying. I learned quickly that I wasn’t spending enough time with husband, I wasn’t spending enough time with my girls, I wasn’t taking enough time to visit my parents or my husband’s parents. So, I thought that I had grasped what God wanted to show me rather early in the year, until life really set in.

One morning in prayer, God revealed to me some things about time. Time is lost, but rarely found. Time is stolen, and rarely given back. Time gets away from us, and we always think we can or will make up for it, but never do. Time can be given to others, but we don’t give it without hesitation. Time can be received, but we don’t always appreciate it. Time can be offered to us, but we don’t always accept it. Time is wasted and time is taken for granted. Time is one of our most valuable assets, and yet we don’t always use it wisely. I know this all sounds a bit negative and not so fuzzy inside, but stick with me on this, and see where I am going.

I take time every morning to workout, straighten up the house, fix my husband breakfast, do my morning devotion time, get my oldest to school, teach my youngest school, and get my own work done. I tend to be more like a robot than a human. These things are all important, but I tend to go through the motions, instead of taking the time to really appreciate what I have, and what I am capable of doing. I love to take time to go watch my oldest play a sport, or listen to her sing for a group of people. It thrills me to watch my youngest dance around a room with all her silliness, and I love a quiet evening with my husband talking. Even though I love to do these things, in the back of my head I have a schedule I am trying to keep up with. In my head I am saying, “There isn’t enough time!” My head is screaming trying to find the time to do what is expected of me, all while hoping my rigid schedules don’t impact my girls in a negative way.

In June of 2021, and August of 2021, my husband’s family suffered the loss of two amazing women, as well as many other family members. It was a year we went to a lot of funerals of family and friends. The two women we lost I was close with, and I am thankful that I spent so much time with them even with the distance between us. These two woman left our world way too soon and were both tragedies in my book. The woman who died in June was my husband’s aunt. He was having a hard time deciding on whether to go see her or not since we knew she didn’t have much time to live. I told him, “You will never regret going, but you will always regret staying.” He has never regretted taking that time to travel to another state to see her, because it was the last time he saw her. People think his family is crazy because every year we are in charge of the Knoll Reunion. I tell people we do it, because we never ever have to say, “Too bad we only get together at funerals.” It’s time consuming to do this, but the payback is so much more than the time it takes to do this event. Our reunion last summer was the last time I saw the cousin that died in August.

We rarely take time to sit and listen to stories of someone who is elderly, or stories of a vet. We put off spending time with our kids outside of their events, or spending just a little extra time at night with our spouse even though we are tired. We forget the value of sitting with a sick loved one, and holding their hand through the pain. We read our bibles, and pray our prayers, but yet we don’t take that time to really seek God’s presence. We get busy with our lives and the cares of this world, and we don’t take time for the really important things or the really important people in our lives. We rush through our days pushing to meet the next obligation or deadline. We get after our kids for every little thing they do wrong, instead of taking time to enjoy them. We focus more on what upsets us about our spouses instead of appreciating all they do for us.

I am so guilty of all the things I mentioned above. I learned that I can never get back a moment God gave me to spend a little extra time for someone else besides me. I have learned to plan on taking a little extra time in the grocery store, because someone may need to talk or someone may need me to pray for them. I learned that when I go to my mom and dad’s house to pick up my girls, plan on sitting and talking with parents instead of rushing home to stay on my schedule. I learned that I can be selfish with my time, or too scared to get out of my comfort zone to give my time away. We are not promised tomorrow, and I don’t want to have any regrets that I didn’t spend enough time with my loved ones.

In November of 2021, I was praying with a woman who had just lost her son to a horrific murder. She was obviously heartbroken, and extremely empty without her son. As I was praying she was asking me to pray that her family would forgive these individuals who did this to her son. I sat there in complete amazement of this woman. Why? Because she had already forgiven these individuals. It had only been a week, and she was where most of us wouldn’t have reach for years or ever in the same situation. Most of us would have said they don’t deserve forgiveness. What I want to express here is, we can’t waste time not forgiving someone. We can’t waste time being bitter and hateful because of what others have done to us. You can say, “Well Sharon you haven’t been through what I have been through.” You are right, but most of us haven’t been through what this hurting mother has been through. She wasted not time and gave it to God.

So, why did God give me the word time? I am one who has a schedule and each day is planned out. I can be like a robot, and like a friend said to me one day, “I bet you come with a book of instructions don’t you?” Pretty much! I do take time for my loved ones, and I do spend time with my parents. I have no regrets there, but after losing so many people to death and watching so many people lose the ones they love, I knew I could do better. I started sitting longer with mom and dad just visiting. I found myself stopping, and watching my girls just be my girls. I realized my husband needs me to just sit with him even when we have nothing to say. I realized I don’t have to always be busy to prove that stay at home moms have a lot to do. I learned that I am a stay at home mom so I can be there for my girls and watch them grow. I realized that I chose to live near my parents and my husband’s parents so we could enjoy them, and not just take care of them when they can’t take care of themselves. I learned that time is a precious commodity, and one that shouldn’t be taken for granted. I learned to take time to love myself, and stop wasting time criticizing myself (still much work to do there). Be less focused on myself, and more focused on God, and the people I love.

I just want to tell you to stop wasting time being bitter and unforgiving. Stop wasting time working so much to get ahead in this world, because the world has nothing for you. Stop filling your time with things of this world instead of filling yourself with your loving God. Stop hating yourself, and start loving the wonderful creation that you are. Sit, be still, and hear the words God wants to speak to you. Watch your kids be kids more. Watch your loved ones engage with each other, and appreciate the family God has given you. Lastly, stop using your time to complain, and start using your time to be thankful. These are all things God spoke to me, and I wanted to share them with you. We are not promised tomorrow, but we all have this very moment we are in right now. What will we do with this time God has given you? We all have 24 hours in a day, and we all have a choice on how we spend that precious time. Again, let me stress, I struggle with all of these areas even after what I learned in 2021.

This year my word is “ASSERTIVE”. I asked God if I could have another word! Not a strength of mine, and I am already learning why He gave me this word! Maybe next year God will have me share with you what I learned. Be blessed!

James 4:14 Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.